Please Don’t Let Me Be Reincarnated As a 7th Grade Boy!

7th Grade boysIf there is such a thing as reincarnation, please God don’t let me come back as a 7th Grade boy; I don’t have nearly enough energy to make it!

For one day this week I had the privilege, nay the honor, of being the only designated adult in charge of a 7th Grade class full of young boys. Teachers: you have got your hands full! When the sub was a no-show I stepped in to help, and amongst the craziness and the endless questions I noticed a few choice classic middle-school moves native to those with the XY chromosome combo. These tidbits of truth made my day and opened my eyes to the fact that as a 7th Grade boy the world is a simpler place but is on the verge of becoming more complicated, a daunting realization indeed.

As a 7th Grade Boy:

  1. There are a zillion thoughts running through my head every nano-second and it is imperative I discuss all of them with you RIGHT NOW!
  2. Burps, farts, and noises that resemble either of those are hilarious.
  3. Minecraft is awesome and should be the only subject in school, except for basketball.
  4. I only heard what the adult in the room said after she had explained it three different ways and in three different tones of voice.
  5. Bullying is real and really hurts.
  6. I have crushes on girls but I still think they are gross OR I am that one heart-breaker who is already juggling two women in the 7th Grade class and one in the 8th.
  7. I spill things on my shirt and I’m okay with that.
  8. There is a lot of pressure on me at home, at school, and with friends and I’m learning how to juggle it all.
  9. If an adult says “No” I will incessantly ask them, “Why?” until I (a) wear them down or (b) they ignore me.
  10. Throwing anything is cool, even a chair or a person.
  11. I also need to jump off stuff periodically, including a chair or a person.
  12. Sometimes I just need to yell. I don’t know why.
  13. I smell. But so does everyone else.
  14. I don’t yet know what I want to be when I grow up but I know that it has something to do with sports, cars, and sports cars.
  15. If my friends make fun of me I will still cry but only in the bathroom.
  16. When dissecting things in science, if it’s not already dead it will be when I get done with it.
  17. I’m finding out that life is not fair, and I am learning to accept that fact even though it’s hard.
  18. My mom still packs my lunch; I like that she remembers to put my favorite snacks in it.
  19. When I’m excited about something, you will know about it! When I’m mad about something, you will know about it!
  20. I really just want to be liked.

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